That inner monologue? You are not alone.
The Build:
I'm Christine Russo, building my third media company using the learnings from each time. This is my build. You have yours. And I've decided to share my feelings along the way because maybe you feel that way too. And it's cool to not feel alone. And I'll share how I deal with it. Maybe that helps you too. I share thoughts inside my head which range from neurotic to confident to second guessing myself.
If you are building anything: a company, your personal brand, your career, a non-profit then I hope these thoughts inside MY head connect with thoughts inside YOURS.
We speak our fears to overcome them. And for strength. And for community.
The Feeling: Did That Just Happen?
Today we hide behind social media profiles, DMs and emails. Sure, sure, reach out to me. But do they REALLY MEAN IT? Do YOU really mean it?
I am sharing an experience I recently had at a conference.
First I’ll set the stage:
January: I saw this person speak on behalf of one of the world’s biggest company at CES (so, for context, big job / big company). Then I saw her at their evening party. I do not know her, I did not peak to her.
August: I saw some of her LinkedIn posts and commented because we know some of the same people and she had been promoted to C level - “Congratulations”, I wrote. That’s it.
September: I am at an event and she’s presenting, it’s a group of Big Logos, Big People on Stage. And we end up at the same lunch table. A long table. Surely she feels hunted, right? Because nearly everyone wants to connect with the Person with the Big Logo. You know the drill.
We get to chatting about what I do, people we know (several people in common) and SUDDENLY, she grabs my phone and puts her number into my phone. And asks for mine.
I was in shock, thinking of it now, it plays in slow motion.
The Thought Inside My Head: Why is this huge person giving me this level of access? This is unconventional yet, OMG, fucking awesome.
So this newsletter is about signals. And boy was that a Capital-S-Signal. What does this signal? It says to someone that I am ACTUALLY interested in following up. I am not hiding behind a LinkedIn Connection > DM> Email (maybe) > Call (rarely) > Reconnect (mostly never). I’m all in, IN YOUR PHONE!
Here’s how this story actually ends up.
October: I see on LinkedIn that she has moved on from that big logo position. Wow, ok. I think, I guess our follow up is over. But then I remember, she still has the expertise, POV and leadership that I want to share with people so, what do I do, yeah, you guessed it I TEXT HER BECAUSE I HAVE HER CELL PHONE!!
November: SHE’s Coming On The First Unsolicited Advice In-Person Podcast!
The Question: Should YOU give out your cell phone??
Depends on the situation, of course, BUT, if it wasn’t on your radar, perhaps this story will make you think: Hey, I MEAN IT when I say I’m accessible. And if that is the signal you want to send, this is a strong (very strong) way to do it.
Don’t take it from me
Here is what I’ve found to give this context.
1. The Power Dynamic: Bypassing Their Own Defenses
Senior decision-makers, executives, and high-value prospects spend their entire work lives hiding behind "corporate armor":
Executive assistants and gatekeepers
Inboxes managed by rules, spam filters, or delegation
LinkedIn profiles flooded with hundreds of unread InMails
When someone hands you their email, they are routing you through their defense perimeter. When they take your phone and type in their direct mobile number, they are intentionally giving you the keys to the back door. They are signaling: "I want to hear from you, and I don't want my company's bureaucracy or my inbox to stop that from happening."
2. The Physical Gesture: Breaking the Friction Barrier for You
Notice the physical mechanics of what they did:
Instead of saying "Here's my card, text me," which puts the administrative burden on you (and gives them an out if you don't follow up), they eliminated all mechanical friction on your end.
They literally took physical ownership of the connection. In behavioral psychology, physical interaction with another person's personal property (your phone) indicates an immediate collapse of formal social distance. It establishes fast, high-trust rapport.
3. Radical Accessibility as a Power/Intent Move (< < < < THIS PART!)
In B2B negotiations and deal-making, truly high-level buyers do not play "hard to get" when they see something they actually need.
Mid-level or tire-kicking contacts protect their status by being guarded: "Send your deck to my generic email and we'll review it next quarter."
High-conviction decision-makers move with speed. If they spot a solution to a burning problem or an individual they want in their orbit, their biggest fear is losing momentum. "Cut the corporate dance; reach me directly."
4. Setting the Relationship Baseline: Informal & Direct (< < This Too!)
By putting their cell into your phone, they set the rules of engagement:
The Channel Dictates the Relationship: Emails are for formal procurement, legal, and posturing. Direct SMS/calls are for true partners, collaborators, and trusted peers.
They chose to start your working relationship on an informal, direct, peer-to-peer level rather than a transactional "vendor vs. client" dynamic.
What The Data Shows Us
Below are articles, podcasts and books to learn more about this:
Podcast: The Brainy Business
Hosts/Guests: Melina Palmer with Ben Wise and Darren McKee (authors of The Psychology of B2B Buying).
Connection: Explores how B2B buyers operate on emotional and behavioral shortcuts rather than rigid corporate logic. They discuss how high-conviction decision-makers intentionally bypass their own buying committees and administrative layers when they experience cognitive momentum and want to forge an immediate, human connection with a problem-solver.
3. Book: The JOLT Effect: How High Performers Overcome Customer Indecision
Publisher / Detail: Penguin Random House / The JOLT Effect
Authors: Matthew Dixon and Ted McKenna.
Connection: Dixon and McKenna’s research across millions of sales interactions shows that high-stakes buyers fear loss through omission or delayed action once a real solution is found. When senior leaders find someone who de-risks their priorities, they move with unusual speed and actively remove procedural barriers to ensure the project maintains momentum.
4. Fast Company: Reducing Friction as the Ultimate Trust Shortcut
Article: Your Brand Is Your Network
Publication Date: October 2025
The Connection: The piece contrasts standard, transactional networking (collecting business cards and shaking hands) with "transformational networking" built on genuine value and perceived trust. It notes that when a strong connection is made, the interaction naturally shifts to reducing friction—meaning both sides stop playing defensive games and eliminate administrative steps to accelerate collaboration. The prospect taking your phone to input their number is that principle in action: an intentional removal of friction to protect deal momentum.
5. Psychology Today: Proxemics and the Nonverbal "Bid for Connection"
Articles:
The Connection: In behavioral analysis, touching another person's personal property (their phone) represents an entry into their intimate personal space. Research highlighted by Psychology Today explains that unprompted physical closeness and direct touch act as unambiguous "nonverbal bids for connection". By physically taking your phone and inputting their data, the person instantly collapses social distance, signals mutual peer status, and removes the psychological barriers that typically stall new encounters.
6. Entrepreneur: The Collapse of the Formal "Business Card" Barrier
The Connection: Entrepreneur explores how corporate business cards often function as polite brush-offs—a way to end an interaction without committing to future contact. Handing someone a card keeps the recipient at arm's length. By deliberately ignoring cards and physically placing their direct cell into your device, the prospect actively broke the script to ensure they wouldn't get lost in your post-event shuffle.
7. Inc.: Moving the Conversation to High-Trust Channels
The Connection: Inc. highlights that while corporate email is where conversations go to die under corporate red tape, moving a relationship to SMS or direct calls establishes immediate, informal peer-to-peer rapport. Giving someone your cell number signals an invitation to communicate like partners or trusted advisors rather than a vendor pitching a prospect.
Unsolicited Advice
Giving out your cell phone number is a personal decision. And one that is rarely considered in a networking situation. But my unsolicited advice is to consider adding it to your toolbox of communication techniques. Hiding behind DMs, LinkedIn InMail Messages, and emails are not doing the job of giving some a high intent signal. They are just not. So if that’s the objective, then Go For It.
We are building ourselves and each other. Let's do it together.
Partnership Announcement:
The Brand Audit: The met the founder on LinkedIn and we had a video introduction. Christina is super accomplished and has built a community of CEO’s but she has packages for effective personal branding. Whether starting your career, mid-way through or going through your rewirement; your on-line persona may need a redo. See more HERE
Book Recommendation:
Can You Rollerskate?: It's Never Too Late To Learn New Tricks
by Lisa Morris (Author) Link Here
Show Up. Say Yes. Start Moving.
Careers change. Relationships end. Plans collapse. Sometimes we choose to change our lives; sometimes life makes the choice for us.
Can You Rollerskate? is the book you need when you’re standing between the life you know and the life you haven’t figured out yet.
Blending candid memoir with practical guidance and stories of real people who have reinvented themselves in extraordinary ways, Lisa shows you how to uncover your transferable strengths, rethink limiting assumptions, build meaningful relationships, and take purposeful action amid uncertainty.
Content:
Thoughts Inside YOUR Head
Want to discuss? Or join a room full of people who probably have the same concerns? email me at [email protected]. And I'll email you back, meet you for coffee, or invite you to our dinners.
By the way, crafting the videos, thoughts inside my head and newsletter for Unsolicited Advice is the best part of my week and that’s because I am feeling so connected to you, the readers. I hope you feel this in what I do. AND, if you have friends or colleagues who might be interested in this community, please share this newsletter with them!